sebastian no. 14

December 11, 2014

you sleep.
i stare at your face.
the sunset of your childhood
draws a shadow right above your lip
-your body is growing

i heard the pitch
of your words when we played earlier tonight.
biology is tuning the chords of your voice…
i hope you always speak from your Heart.

and as your bones stretch your body
may you grow comfortably into your skin
because you are indescribably beautiful my Love.

i hope you forgive.
especially your Self,
‘cause along the way,
you will fall.
hard.
‘spart of life.

please remember:
you will always have to live with your Self.
when alone,
make sure you’re in good company.

there is a lot of ugly hate in this world
but Love is prettier than ugly
and stronger than hate.

may the core of everything you do be
rooted in Love.

you are so much Light to the infinite power.
you are brilliance. pay attention.
stay awake.

sometimes
people are mean.
rest assured.
nothing they say is really about you.
it is,
a reflection of their journey.
send them light.

contrary to what the world
is showing you today,
Love will trump hatred.
this world is not all cruel.
Love is winning.

your Love has expanded the walls of my chest,
my heart no longer fits this body.

this world needs you to continue creating
Love everlasting.

if i am Light

June 25, 2012

i am not here today.
come to think of it, i wasn’t here yesterday either.
not quite sure where i am.
but i’ve been missing my self as of late.

tears sit at the edge of my eyes
they fear the fall
so they hold on to my lashes
until they find their way back into
the pockets of my pupils
my vision drowns

i sit in silence
wanting to hear the message
this moment has for me
i am deafened by its screams

i used to be so full of life and energy
i used to believe in Love more than i believed in gods
i was unstoppable the world was mine to conquer

but time and life have changed that
and i am left to gather from the experiences
to emerge with new wisdom
and a fresh vision

because if i am Light
then i cannot be extinguished

if i am Light
then i must burn

beacon street

April 5, 2012

it was no wonder,
you wonder filled spirit,
that you lived on beacon street.

we met august 2008
i was moving in.
i knocked on your door
and when you opened
your smile lit up
that small hallway.

we became friends instantly.
like we had known each other
for years. sharing laughter.
food. company. stories.
we learned about each other.
you talked about your love
for the arts. started painting again.
writing…

the beagle loved you too.
she looked forward to your everyday visits
with a spoonful of yogurt that had her
tail waggin’ so fast, we thought it would fall off.

the more you shared your life with me,
the more awestruck i became.
life dealt you such shitty hands
but you played the game.
and you did it well Ass 😉

i know your light will shine in my life
all the days i have left. your wonder
will live on.

thank you for shining your light.
thank you for sharing your life. 

rest now my friend. rest.

shadow & light

March 10, 2012

seeking clarity
i dive into the darkness
of my Self.

i find my way to the vastness
of these empty doubts.
the air is filled with worry.
i inhale deeply…
my lungs exhausted.

i breathe you in
like oxygen,
like you’re good for me.

i cannot recall a time without you
in my life. you’re like an appendage:
my arms. my legs…
but you have no function
except to make me heavy.
and sad. and disconnected.

i have to find a way out.

loneliness,
i am letting you go today…

so that i may emerge
out of this darkness.

this inner light is too bright
for you to keep dimmed in your shadow.

you must go now.

trickery

September 15, 2011

mira…

if you go to stuckonstupiddotcom
you’ll find a picture of me.
and if you look closely into my eyes
you’ll see her silhouette
shufflin’ in my pupils.

she drives me crazy.

that kinda’ crazy that has me wondering
if i might be having some stalker-like behaviors.

she got me
counting hours ‘til i see her again.
i check and recheck my phone
to see if i might’ve missed her text
between now…
and the time i put it back in my pocket.

when she touches me,
i can feel it in the toes
of my next life.

when she speaks to me,
i get hooked
on the phonics of her lips.
i’ve been diagnosed
with attention deficit disorder
but she’s got
my complete attention.

she’s got this smile…

and when she laughs,
her entire face lights up.
and i’m looking at her light
walking towards it without fear
’cause if it’s death
…bring it.

she makes me laugh.
that ‘hood laugh.
(you know that laugh)

the one that got you standing-up-
running-slowly-clapping your hands-
shit-is-so-funny-your-stomach-hurts-
kinda’ laugh.

mira…

she drives me crazy.

the kinda’ crazy that got me wondering
if i should be in a straight-jacket
‘cause i wanna’ run into the walls
of her body and just crash into her.

she. is. so. good.
she’s got me thinking i’m free falling
and when i look around
i realize, i’ve been lying on her floor
for a minute.

…that’s some trickery.

~Sarahí Yajaira, 2011 ©