reflection: dreams delayed

November 22, 2011

i have been thinking about this coming holiday.

i am having a hard time this year with it. i read somewhere that mercury is in retrograde and things might be a bit off. and the news always tell of stats that remind us how this is a really depressing time for many people. in trying to make sense of my current emotional state, i seek answers.  this has nothing to do with the holiday or mercury’s position. i am just missing one thing:

my very own family.

i have family. my siblings. my parents. cousins. aunts and uncles. we are thousands of miles apart. still, we are family. and the memories we made years ago are still with me.

but i want my own family. i want to build a home. create memories. hang them on picture frames. make traditions that my kids will talk about…

i’ve been sitting with this. writing about it in my journal. talked about it with some friends over dinner tonight. and then i came across a blog where the blogger was expressing a similar sentiment.

i suppose a good number of us get to that point in our lives. that place where we realize we want our own family. it is easy to feel at a lost.  or like we haven’t done something right if what we want hasn’t yet arrived.

but instead of questioning what i might be doing wrong… i allowed my self to feel and listen. and i learned something and made peace with it rather quickly: it is not yet time.

i am thankful for dreams delayed. it will be that much sweeter. i will be that much stronger.