sebastian no. 14

December 11, 2014

you sleep.
i stare at your face.
the sunset of your childhood
draws a shadow right above your lip
-your body is growing

i heard the pitch
of your words when we played earlier tonight.
biology is tuning the chords of your voice…
i hope you always speak from your Heart.

and as your bones stretch your body
may you grow comfortably into your skin
because you are indescribably beautiful my Love.

i hope you forgive.
especially your Self,
‘cause along the way,
you will fall.
hard.
‘spart of life.

please remember:
you will always have to live with your Self.
when alone,
make sure you’re in good company.

there is a lot of ugly hate in this world
but Love is prettier than ugly
and stronger than hate.

may the core of everything you do be
rooted in Love.

you are so much Light to the infinite power.
you are brilliance. pay attention.
stay awake.

sometimes
people are mean.
rest assured.
nothing they say is really about you.
it is,
a reflection of their journey.
send them light.

contrary to what the world
is showing you today,
Love will trump hatred.
this world is not all cruel.
Love is winning.

your Love has expanded the walls of my chest,
my heart no longer fits this body.

this world needs you to continue creating
Love everlasting.

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reflective of the last 34 years… i am filled with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. thankFULL. i decided to set some personal intentions for my new year. fully aware that some of them may not come to fruition as quickly as i’d like them to or that life may just have something entirely different for me.

i set these intentions with a commitment to Self:

may i be patient. with my Self. may i relish in every step. and be still in it, until it is time to take the next one. no haste. just a gentle reminder that the Universe has its rhythm and i can only fall into its beat.

may i marry my body. nourish my temple with foods and drinks that will keep it wholly. that i may exercise it and make of this a practice. may i be healthy in my relationship with self.

may i finish my book. as difficult as it may be to relive some things and write them out, the final product will give healing to a beautiful relationship.

may i write more handwritten letters. put them in an envelope. stamp. mail it out. i don’t want the art of writing by hand to become a memory. so expect snail mail.

may i be still in the moment. hold on to it. learn to be with it. after all, it is all i will ever have. this. very. moment.

living and celebrating my life surrounded by the Love and support of family and friends is my greatest blessing. thank you for being part of my journey.

memory: gammy’s seizure

February 18, 2012

when we were kids
you were my favorite cousin.

i’m not sure why.

not that i needed a reason;
but i had 41 other cousins
to choose from…
you made it easy to “pick.”

you never said no to me.
you thought it was just fine
that i wanted to play baseball
(you even taught me a few things),
and basketball… and football…
and any other sport that was reserved
for the boys.

we played all the time.
i loved sleepovers
with you -we slept on the same bed
(tu bocarriba’ y yo bocabajo’)
we were never bored.
we always found something
to do in the neighborhood,
in the house, even at church.

(you and i were grandma’s favorite, remember? 😉

one of my favorite stories
with you, was the day those boys
were going to beat you up -for no reason,
except that you looked like Screech
from Saved by the Bell (and you did, but i
didn’t think that warranted a beating).

you threw yourself on the floor
and started acting you were having a seizure.
i was freakin’ out and the boys that were about
to beat you up, ran away.
you stopped and opened one eye
looked at me and said, “are they gone?”

and we just died laughing.
what a clever way to get out of a beating.

you have this amazing ability to make all of us laugh.

and that’s just it with you… you make all of us laugh even during the scary and sad times.

today, all of our cousins are my favorite.
but you hold the memory of my childhood’s
ten-year-old laughter in your left hand.

thank you for always making me smile. for being you.

today, i celebrate the gift of your life Gamaliel Edgardo Alejandro Caraballo. thank you for shining your beautiful bright light. i wish you peace of heart, health, happiness and laughter in abundance.

i love you Gammy!

safe

December 9, 2011

i don’t know if you know
but the only time i felt safe
was when you were around.
i knew nothing could happen to me.

you were my he-man.
always defeating the skeletor of my fears.

the saddest day of my life was
that august day of 1986,
when you and Manny left.
i knew i wasn’t safe without you.

i loved the summer.
the warmth of your arrival,
was the highlight of my year.

i tagged-along. sometimes i annoyed you,
(that’s what little sisters are supposed to do).
you held on to my pigtails
making motorcycle sounds.
you watched over me. i loved when we played.
wiffle-ball with duck-taped plastic bats.
chasing squirrels. handball. night pool. shoe-shine girl.
and forts. you made the most amazing forts.

you were my boot camp.
those times you were “mean”
was your way of getting me ready for life.

life has given us years. distance has kept
us apart for the majority of our lives.
but we have always been a part of each other.

life has been hard on you.
and you always come out on top.
your strength amazes me
(i wish i had a little more of it).

your Love… it weakens me.
your humor makes me laugh ‘til my belly hurts.

today, i celebrate the gift of your life.
your light shines so brightly David Anthony!

i am lucky to call you my brother
and blessed to have you as one of my best friends.

Happy birthday He-Man!

me and my best friends