su voz

December 13, 2012

escuche su voz.
en ese instante la reconocí.

sonabas como amanacer de campo,
sonabas a lluvia en las montañas,
sonabas a gallo mañanero.

hola, ¿que tal?
hola tu.
dos horas y seis minutos,
la primera conversación
(de esta vida).
entre risas y cosa pequeñas,
mi corazón se hacia mas grande.

todo tan natural. como rio
camino al desemboque.

me dormí pensando en la dulzura de su voz.
amanecistes en mis cuerdas vocales
como canción de cuna,
tierna y recíen renacida.

queria gritar.

llevo años soñandote.

encontre rastros de usted
en otros amores
pero siempre faltaba mas.

y es que, Usted…
Usted condensa mis deseos
y anhelos en su mirada.
en sus ojos se refleja
mi alegría multiplicada
a la infinita potencia.

y yo caí rendida
en su voz.

i speak in spanglish tongues.
it is the sound of two cultures
that burst in my mouf’
like pop rocks.

mouf’…

like, take a baf’.
like, do your maf’ homework.
’cause the “th” sound
was too soft for the strength
in abuela’s tongue.

guen’ you are raised here
(en los estados unidos),
your tongue splits
and you find yourself
between “correct english”
and the sound of your cultura.

“mamita, que no se te olvide tu idioma,”
your Titi reminds you.

pero the english teacher tells you
to slide the tongue below your top teeth
so that ju’ can enunciate correctly .

enunciate?
sounds harsh.

so we created spanglish.
a place where they bof’ dance
comfortably. without judgement.
or correction.

sounds like,
caserio and projects.
barrio and town.
ciudad and suburbs.

it is the last romance language!

you can speak it. whisper it. shout it.
you can woe someone to Love in it.
you can awaken the social justice conscious
of sleeping giant with it.
you can put it in the lyrics of a song
and watch music play a cuatro
while an electric guitar falls
en clave.

ta. ta. ta. tata.
ta. ta. ta. tata.

la boila’ is broken
we have no heat.

code switch.

parkea’ el carro
then meet me
en el rufo’,
a few of us are gonna’
janguear’ and have a few drinks.

spoken word poets
have brought spanglish
to open mics
closing lyrical lines
with coños and “y tu abuela aonde’ ‘ta?”

abuela, i could never olvidar mi lengua
she dances in my mouf’
like celia cruz on stage
with a tumbao’
“my english ees’ no’ bery gu’ lukin’!”

pero i grew up here. in the land
of gringos. ’cause you wanted something
mejor for mamí.

so i had to learn this idioma
to fit in and assimilate,
while you continued to make rinconcitos
of Puerto Rico on tenement fire escapes.
palm and avocado trees fought with
taller buildings for a little bit of that sol.
a small clothesline had tio’s pantaloncillos
dancing salsa in the wind.
and a flag that waved hello
to transplanted seedlings
that played a combo of
la rueda mas hermosa
and red-light-green-light.

we stop. we go.
in and out.

we wrote a new idioma.
something the oxford dictionary
couldn’t add to their collection
of borrowed tongues.

something that was ours.
it honored our history
and accepted our new reality.

our tongue
debated and deliberated
a new sound.

spanglish:
a funny-often-times-hysterical-combination
-of-english-and-any-given-variation-of-spanish-
that-sounds-like-Home-and-home-and-Love-and-love.

arrow

November 28, 2012

the memory of
your breath
in the small of my back
arches my spine

my torso
shoots upward

faltan palabras

November 19, 2012

ni las palabras del famoso Shakespeare
ni la inmensa poesía de Neruda
podrian expresar
toda tu dulzura.

y es que…
faltan palabras.

aun no exísten aquellas
que puedan condensar
este sentimiento
en un simple abecedario.

níngun lenguaje
se atreve a traducir
por temor a perderse…
o peor, a no hacerle justicía
a esta delicía.

donde faltan palabras,
es donde vive el sentimiento
mas profundo.

de mis padres

November 15, 2012

yo tengo…

el cabello de mi padre,
la piel de mi madre.

mis manos se mueven como las de mamí,
mis uñas brillan como las de papí.

las pecas… de los dos.

tengo el cuerpo de ella
y camino como el.

soy chistosa como el,
pero tengo la voz de ella.

mi poesía es del viejo,
y me enamoro como mi vieja.

mi alegría es de los dos.

yo tengo…

los dedos largos de mis pies son igualitos a los de mamí,
mi barbilla hace punta con papí.

mi ojos miran como los de mamí,
pero reflejan los de papí.

mi oreja lleva el “piquito” de papí,
mis cejas imitaron las de mamí.

de papí, saque lo de cariñosa
de mamí su paciencia.

de papi saque el amor al beisbol,
de mamí el Amor a la lectura.

de los dos este corazón.

y aunque el tiempo y la vida no los tiene juntos,
…su Amor vive en mi y se hace eterno.

 

a place to heal

October 8, 2012

i wish i could gather all the stars tonight
and place them around your neck,
so that they may frame
the full moon of your eyes.

i wish i could gather all the shells
in the ocean, place them around your hips
so that they may serve as wave breakers
for the ocean of worries in your days.

i wish i could gather all the mortar and stone
in the world, build you a fort that’s impenetrable.
that you may be protected always.

but i am just your Titi Feisty
and the only powers i posses are
Love and Faith…

so i ask the Universe to protect you,
to send any worries you may have to me
if only it will make that beautiful smile brighter-
your walk, a bit lighter.

you are growing up so quickly.
life has a way of speeding up the process.
and in that mile per hour highway
you are so amazing.
i marvel at your courage.
i see your patience and care with your little sister,
how you put up with your older brother’s wisecracks
and i know you are growing up beautifully.

so when the days become heavy (and they will)
bring your beautiful hands
to that place that is sacred to you.
turn to music, turn to writing
turn to express your Self in artistry
-it’s the most amazing place to heal.

i am so proud of you my little Love.
your spirit is contagious.
your laughter has the sweetest melody.

Emelyn… you are one of my six favorite songs.

lift

July 4, 2012

tired of falling
in Love.
(too many bruises)

i want to fly
in Love.
make me forget
there is ground.

fly me so high
my nose bleeds
the fears
right out of me.

i want to breathe the air
right from her soul’s lungs
until my chest expands
and her oxygen pumps
through my veins
filling the air pockets
that constrict my airways.

lift me.

i want to be gone
in her wind.
thrown into thin air.

fly in Love.

amiga, Hermana

May 15, 2012

tu amistad y hermandad
es canción perfecta.

ese corazón debe ser multíplicado
por mil, a la infínita potencia.

pensaba, que estar enamorada,
estaba solo reservado para el amor intimo,
hasta conocer tu sonrisa
llena de risa
y ahora me encuentro
escribiendo poesía
inspirada en tu cariño.

emocionada
durante el tiempo compartido.
me sudan las manos
y me bailan los pies.

cuando almas gemelas
se encuentran en la tierra
del cielo llueve la risa
de niñas de ocho años.

loss and gain

i have not lost.

not if i can see what i gained
in the defeat.

***

hold

i held on so tight to the pain,
refusing to let go

because that was all that i had left of you.

***

walk

today, i placed one foot
in front of the other

and started walking towards me.

un-broken

April 24, 2012

i am broken
but i am not shattered.

repairable, in fact.

i am stronger
at the parts
that cracked
because they know, now
how to reconnect.

healing bones,
tendons rebuild,
nerves reconnect.

the broken heal.
the body remembers.
the soul is stronger.

break down,
build up.
the edifice is fortified
reinforced
and forced to realize such wondrous truth:
the body can handle so much… more.

so really,
i am not broken
i am just strengthening the core
of a warrior heart.