saving ashes

July 15, 2011

“I know many of you are walking through the flames
and as the heat dissolves everything in your path that no longer serves you,
you scramble around attempting to save the ashes.”
~Adriana Raines

i’ve been collecting ashes
for years now.
saving them in boxes
labeled memories
as if they were heirlooms
to leave behind
for my unborn children.

their heaviness
rests on the basement floor
of my difficulty to let go.
fills the attic spaces
of my need to hold
on to the past.

i stare at them.

wondering,
what might’ve been if…

in each love letter,
picture and keepsake,
i could’ve brought you back.

there has always been an eerie
comfort to a pain
that has always been with you.

so i hold on.

not wanting to realize
that the memories have long burned
and these are just ashes.

that what was
is no phoenix,
and the only rising
that will take place is my own

…once i scatter these.

~Sarahí Yajaira, 2011 ©

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One Response to “saving ashes”

  1. araines Says:

    Mujer! Es un honor siempre sentir tus palabras y mas aun saber que mi verdad te sirve de inspiracion.

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