return to Self

March 9, 2011

“loneliness is being with someone and without your Self.”

we spend our lives trying to pair up; searching for that person who compliments or complete us… the ying to our yang, the song to our dance.  we encourage it at an early age. asking kids if they have a “girlfriend” or a “boyfriend” yet.  as if it is our mission in life to find that person from the moment we can put words together.  we then pressure these kids, now young adults, to “get engaged,” or “get married” as if there was a time limit and we needed to check things off before the due date. we create distance from Self.

truth is in doing this, we nurture out what is natural to most: our first relationship.

our first relationship must be our strongest before we can venture out to find this “soulmate.” the first and most important relationship we should have is with our Self.

when was the last time you took yourself out to dinner? to the movies? when did you last sit with your Self and ask “what is your favorite bottle of wine?” when was the last time you dedicated a song on the radio to your Self? or the last time you stared directly into the eyes of your Self and said, “i am in love with you?”

we are constantly told to give our Self freely, to not be selfish, to sacrifice our Self.  it is in this action that we disconnect from our Self; a detachment of sorts.

when we are taught to find our match as soon as possible, to give our all in every relationship, while forgetting to take time for us; we deplete our source.  the search for that partner becomes routine and we hurt our Self and others in the process.

we owe it to our Self to give us time. heal. mend. strengthen. replenish. to learn.


we cannot expect to be better partners to others if we have yet to be better for our Self. it is in the relationship we have with our Self that we begin to understand our relationship with others. when we return to Self, to that concept of all that we are without attachments, we begin to have clarity of Self.

it is in that clarity that we have more light about our Self.  and in that light, that we are no longer without Self.

~Sarahí Yajaira, 2011 ©


3 Responses to “return to Self”

  1. We are hardest on ourselves, cruel to the point of abuse at times. As Pink says, “Why do we that?…why do I do that?”

  2. Adriana Says:

    Sweets, I am so proud of you! This is so true and its amazing what type of relationships one attracts when one takes the time to know and nurture self first. Abrazos

  3. Tianna Says:

    I took a long time to be single after getting out of a very emotionally damaging relationship in college. I realized that I had lost myself in it and I vowed to never let it happen again. I had to learn the difference between being alone and being lonely, and knew I’d be ready after that. I look forward to your updates as you take your journey!

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