post ethics class

May 14, 2010

i received an email from an old college classmate today.  in it she wrote,

“I am glad to hear you had a great Birthday! I just wanted to send you a note apologizing for something I said more than ten years ago in Ethics class. It was an ignorant comment about your presentation on gay people in society I believe. I never meant to offend you or embarrass you. I wanted to apologize after class after you presented but I was told not to by a few class mates. I now know to always listen to my instinct and not be afraid to speak up. I do not know you really well but we do share mutual friends and you have a beautiful soul and heart. I am sorry and I hope you accept this apology. I do hope that in the future we can be friends.”

now… i would be lying if i told you that i had a clue what she said or for that matter what i presented in ethics class (this happened more than ten years ago).  my initial reaction was one of sadness.  because i thought she’d been holding on to this for quite some time (she expressed in another email that she thought about apologizing every time she saw me on FB); while i was probably upset about it in the moment and then added it to the pile of  “forgotten frustrations”.  i thought, since she had thought about it for the last ten plus years, i should recall something.  still, i can’t remember anything… i barely remember the professors name.  but that’s not the point… the point here is growth.

now, i should perhaps have prefaced this by stating that i graduated from what was then an all-women’s private catholic college (yes, by choice ;o)  perhaps it helps to make clearer what i was able to understand and gather from this email.

post-ethics class lesson: time and space. experiences and beliefs. wherever we stand at any particular time… we stand with our experiences and beliefs up-to-date.

my response to her was short:

“Whatever you said my sister is long forgotten and forgiven. I believe we speak from a time and place based on our experiences and beliefs. And at that particular time and place you had a different set of experiences and beliefs.
We are constantly evolving (it’s our human nature). As that process continues I believe we reflect on our past so as to better understand where we are and which direction we’d like to head. You have done just that.

Future friends? No. You’ve never stopped being my sister. Even if we just share common friends. Our paths did cross. Our lives are forever intertwined. So count on a sisterhood always…”

she responded almost immediately.  writing that she is now the “mother of three wonderful girls who have changed [her] life.” and that she needed “to be real and true to herself and her daughters because children learn what they live.”

to recognize and realize that our children are a reflection of our best and worst  and live by example is beautiful.

time and space.  experiences and beliefs.

if we remain open, we are bound to be such a beautiful enlightened people. because what we see today… ten years from now will look and feel entirely different… and our children will be watching and learning.

~Sarahí Yajaira, 2010 ©

One Response to “post ethics class”

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    I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

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