my first girlfriend was a church girl
pentecostal
you know, the kind who always wear skirts

i loved the flow of it
especially if she caught the holy spirit

i would find myself praising God
louder
with fervor

i prayed to God
wondered why these “sinful” thoughts invaded my mind and body
and i asked [Him] for help
pleading in fact, “rebuke these feelings from me”

but instead the desire grew
like tithe in the offering basket

my faith rested in her praises
i wanted to enter her temple
and sit in her pew

we could speak in tongues all day
so long as the vigil was held in her eyes
and we could fast in the morning of
HER GLORY

what sweet praise of love she was
how innocent
our love

shuned

by the very church that preached about an unconditional love
they damned us to hell
condemned us to a life of fire

the doors of HER church closed
forever
fear took the song right out her book of Psalms

i left

hating the church
since then… i haven’t prayed

the church still preaches love
but prophesizes hate

…i still look at the pretty pentecostal girls in their skirts
and wonder about my favorite sister in christ…and smile!
~Sarahi Yajaira, © 2008

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debt collectors notice

March 15, 2010

if i took all of my yesterdays
multiplied them by the root of your mistakes
i would be left with a debt
payable only upon the consolidation
of the accumulated interest
in your savings of lies and deceit.

this is my inheritance.

it makes no difference to me
that you thought
that sacrifice
would lower the interest rate
or grant you forbearance. 

you owe me nothing
except the balance due:
my truth.

free me of my uncertainty.

this voided check
will not cover
the outstanding debt
you’ve accrued
since that day…

that day you decided to counterfeit truths.

 
~Sarahi Yajaira, © 2010